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hi I'm alix

cranky dean!girl

a fandom, personal, and hella queer blog


wow I always flip flop between imagining Dean saying “I love you” to Cas, whether it’s in the middle of a fight and he’s desperate to try and make Cas realize //why he wants him around and why he gets upset when Cas puts himself in danger, or if it’s in the middle of the night, with every bit of bare skin pressed together and Dean half hopes Cas is asleep when he murmurs it really softly into his neck.

or that Dean just can’t really bring himself to say it, because it’s so big, so scary, and the only person he can ever remember saying it to and feeling safe was his mom. but he knows he feels it, and he knows Cas knows anyways, (because when has Cas not been able to read his mind, angel powers or not), but he shows it every way he can. washing Cas’ hair when he takes his ridiculous long baths, shows it in the way he fixes the coffee in the morning and makes sure Cas has his favorite hazelnut creamer even though he sighs that it’s ‘prissy’, or the way he just plays with Cas’ hand for hours while they watch tv on the couch. and Cas knows that whenever Dean is grinning at him, shaking his head and looking down as he says, “I hate you” it’s because Dean is fit to burst with how much he loves Cas.

Mar 19th / 39 notes
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  8. arenbelles said: you go both ways ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) so does dean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) so do i
  9. freckledbuttchester posted this